I haven’t been keeping up with this journal for awhile and I think that’s just because I’ve been so stressed out with classes. What’s been going on lately? Well, I’ve got a new roommate and she’s been wonderful. We really get along and we are even living together next year in an apartment. Since I’ve been back from break, things have been kicking in full force with my classes and the level of work and difficulty that comes with them. I’ve really decided to pursue my dream of someday be a pediatric surgeon and I’m taking a really hard Chemistry course that has been super tough on me. I haven’t self harmed in awhile so that’s good. My medicine is really working in stabilizing my mood and I haven’t been too upset in awhile. I go every week to a psychiatrist and a psychologist who both assess me in how I’m doing. I think this semester has really kept me so busy. I haven’t had the time to do anything which sometimes can be a good thing even though I hate being busy. My friends have been really supportive and I get my dancer for THON tomorrow! I’m so excited for THON weekend. I really think that I would love to be a captain one day. The people here are amazing and I don’t even know what I’d do without them. I’d probably be in outpatient and just be depressed and not do anything. I’ve really found joy in the simplest of things, like taking a drive around campus since I finally got the approval to have my car here. I don’t know, things are alright. I still cry every once and awhile but the medicine has been keeping my thoughts in order so t doesn’t consume me. I never knew medicine could do such a great thing. I might have to go on some anxiety medicine though which I’m not looking forward to making a decision about. I think I do need them though when I have panic attacks. Other than that that’s what I’ve been up to. Nothing too exciting because my life isn’t. It just consists of a ton of studying in which I have a really big exam tomorrow for chem which is stressing me out because I don’t feel like I know anything. Maybe I’m procrastinating right now but it’s okay because I’ve been studying all morning.
My new long term therapist suggested to keep up with this journal and post happy things too rather than just sad to recall later when I’m feeling down. I like that idea a lot so I’m going to try my best to keep this updated as much as possible. We’ll see how it goes.
Love Always & Forever,